Rating: PG-13
Genre: slash, humour - the cast of "Tin Soldier" has returned
Pairings: Norrington/Gillette, and Will Turner's also making an appearance
Warnings: a bit of bad language
Feedback: very welcome. Good or bad.
Author's notes: Happy Birthday Dauntless! And thank you for the plot bunny, Eveiya!

No summary - telling would be spoiling!

It had been a terrible battle. The
Dauntless and her captain had shown no mercy with the enemy, and so the Muguet, the Rose and the Lirio de los Valles had been sunk. A terrible fate, shared by the Spruitje, a Dutch sloop which had not even been involved in the battle. Unfortunately her captain had missed to veer his ship in time, so the Spruitje had been rammed by the Dauntless, and become another innocent victim of this cruel war.

"Victory!" Will Turner yelled, and it was only Thomas Gillette's presence that kept him from flinging has arms around James Norrington's neck. Thomas just stood there, staring at the debris drifting in the water.

"Thomas, I-" James began, but his lover cut him off.

Dauntless has been demasted. Demasted! My ship!" he howled.

"Yes, I know, but-"

"And he's sunk three other ships!"

Will, a big smile on his face, slapped Thomas' shoulder.

"That was fuckin' great! And much more fun than your tin soldiers!"

He kissed the remote control and handed it back to Thomas, who was very tempted to hit Will over the head with it. Or James.

"I asked you to hold the remote control for a moment, James! How could you give it to Will? Are you insane? What did you smoke?"

James looked sheepish.

"He just wanted to have a look at it... and I didn't think he could do much harm..."

"Not much harm? Will Turner? Are you fucking kidding me? Remember how he managed to blow up Mrs. Danford's gnomes with a lighter and two cans of play-doh? He sunk three ships and demasted the
Dauntless! Do you have any idea what a remote-controlled ship costs?"

Will was unperturbed.

"Don't get your knickers in a twist, Thomas. You'll have the
Dauntless fixed in no time. And my insurance will cover the damage. I think."

Thomas grasped Will by the front of his t-shirt.

"If I was you, I wouldn't worry about insurance! See that man over there? That's Mr. Van der Decken, the owner of the
Spruitje. He's a construction worker and into martial arts. If you don't want his boot up your scrawny arse, I'd suggest that you'll leave. Now!"

Will bit his lip. Mr. Van der Decken's head was so red that it looked like a traffic light even from a distance, and if the expletives he yelled were anything to go by, he was a man with little to no sense of humour.

"Fuck. A pity; I would have loved to tell him a joke about the
Flying Dutchman..."

James quickly stepped between Will and Thomas, who had reached the point where it became difficult to resist the temptation of drowning Will in the pond.

"You have successfully re-enacted the Battle of Trafalgar and saved Britain's honour, Will. Don't let the Dutch navy catch up with you now."

"Fine James, I get it. The lovebirds want to be alone. See you later then, guys. And Thomas - nice ship. As you'll have to repair her, anyway, couldn't you add some cannons? Working ones, you know? That would be fun. Boom! Bang! Woohoo!"

"Well fuck off already, will you?"

Will laughed and legged it, chased by a very angry Mr. Van der Decken. Thomas looked at the remote-control, then at his demasted ship which bobbed up and down in the water.

"Why are people who are
not in love with you putting up with him?" he finally asked. "I mean, he's the fifth Horseman of the Apocalypse!"

James pressed a quick kiss on Thomas' cheek.

"Look on the bright side of it: the
Dauntless is still afloat and she has won the battle. You're the captain of a victorious ship now, and you never liked Mr. Van der Decken, anyway."

Thomas scratched his head.

"Van der Decken is a wanker. You know, the idea with the cannons isn't bad - just think of the effects! The smoke, the smell of gunpowder, the fire - wicked! And he has two other ships. I think I can get the model of the
Interceptor finished by next month... interested in being my first lieutenant, James? You'd get a remote-control and rum."

"And what about buggery?"


James sat down in the grass and began to take off his shoes and socks.

"What are you doing now?" Thomas asked, a bit confused.

"I go and fetch the
Dauntless, then we can go home. I only accept the job if you give me an advance."

* * *

The End
Dramatis Personae
The Stories
by Molly Joyful